It's ok to wish things were different

And that's it.

Not an inspiring story telling you I went through all that this week and now all is rosy. Not saying all the negative stuff is phoof! gone and now I'm in constant bliss and rainbows. 

In fact, parts of me are still pissed. My inner child is vexed. And scared. And uncertain. And parts of me are still disempowered and can't see a way out. (yet).

Even more deeply than ever before I've allowed myself myself to be angry, to blame, to remain disempowered. I haven't tried to talk myself out of wishing things were different and started counting my blessings instead. I've listened intently to the part of me that really believes that. And I haven't invalidated her by telling her she should be grateful instead.

I've allowed myself to bitch and complain to 2 loved ones I know lovingly hold space and have my back. 

I've allowed myself to sob and sob and feel powerless. Without trying to 'pull myself out of it'. Because when you give yourself that much permission, the powerlessness and sorrow begin to dissolve. It really does begin to leave you. We think the heaviness will overpower us and we'll remain stuck in a hole forever but honestly the opposite is true. 

And I know this deepening of self acceptance - allowing myself to be exactly as I am in that moment - without judgement or trying to 'fix' myself - is a gift. The level of permission I've given myself this week - to do what may be seen as negative (bitch, moan, feel sorry for myself) - is actually huge self acceptance. 

The meeting of my Inner Worrier and my Inner Warrior. The One who is so upset and helpless meeting The One who observes, doesn't judge and simply accepts - and loves. It's life changing and a continual process. One that will deepen probably for the rest of my life.

And I know this gift is not just for me. These new depths of giving permission to be yourself, stop self-judging and self-doubting and complete self acceptance will spread into my Reiki and Intuitive Coaching sessions. So of course those working with me will also experiencing the benefits. We never heal or grow alone, the knock-on effect is greater than can be expressed into words. 

So take a breath as I share this wonderful gift of self acceptance, and essentially self love, with you. Breathe it in dear one.

And in the coming week you too can give yourself more permission to be and feel exactly as you do. Without trying to 'fix' yourself or tell yourself off. While the solutions may not come immediately (and sometimes they do) this simple act will make each day easier. Trust me. If you need help with this, from someone who has your back, drop me a message. You're not alone ❣️

With all my love,